


Lilies for the Grail

by DontStalkHaley



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, F/M, Im new to ao3, Major Illness, Pining, Title is a WIP, as is the fic, not sure what all to tag this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontStalkHaley/pseuds/DontStalkHaley
Summary: A terminally ill mage's last chance at doing something great for the world means fighting in the Grail War.I'm afraid im procrastinating the next chapter so bear with me~
Relationships: Gawain | Saber/Original Character(s), Gawain | Saber/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I mean, this is a self insert and I will gladly fill the Gawain tag with self insert fics.
> 
> Part of my love Gawain agenda
> 
> Chapters 1-4 were written listening to From Eden by Hozier on repeat and it's up to you if you want to listen to it while reading or not

I always knew I was different. I did things different and I felt things differently than most people. My mother always said it’s just how I am but it always was difficult. People were always hard to be around. They’re unpredictable and get hurt over things I didn’t mean to be harmful. Plants and animals are different. I was 17 when I was told I was a mage. My parents lived like normal people so I never suspected. We were a new mage family, we had almost no crests. So I didn’t focus on magecraft. It was a world I belonged in but didn’t feel like I fit. At 20 I moved out to a small mage’s workshop in the woods. It was a small house with a large garden and woods. The forest and garden suited me better. The clean, fresh air and the birdsong filling the air and the friendly yet shy creatures that watch from the woods.

I was 21 when the illness came, I knew it was terminal and I had two years max to live. It was draining and debilitating. I never told my parents of the disease. I had my garden and peace, I could die here and rejoin the earth and let the plants grow from my body’s nutrients. 

I was 22 when the crests appeared. They stung when the appeared and I, like any mage knew what that meant. I was forced into the Holy Grail War, even with my weak magical circuits and weak magecraft. I did some alchemy and experiments with plants but my magical knowledge was very minimal. 

I had to summon a servant and I had to do so quickly, with my health deteriorating, the mana drain would be extreme with a powerful servant so honestly a weaker servant would be better.Even if I should die in the war, my death would be coming soon anyway.

I didn’t know what to do for a catalyst, I didn’t have the resources to buy an artifact or the means to hunt one down. I would try my luck summoning without a real catalyst, hoping for maybe a forest goddess. I wasn’t expecting, HIM.

After performing the ritual, he knelt before me, swearing to me his sword and loyalty. His presence radiated a warmth and glow that I’d never felt before from someone. It could be because of his politeness and handsome face. After swearing the pact, he kissed my hand and I could feel my face flush with heat. 

“I am your servant, saber class, my name is Sir Gawain,” he said. “You may call me Saber. May I know what to call you, my king?”

My face was still hot with the blush. “Please, call me Haley,” I said, trying to gain composure. “I would prefer you to not call me King, and I hope I am able to be a satisfactory master, I’m afraid I’m not a strong as a mage.” 

My servant rose to his feet, giving me a once over with his soft eyes, flustering me again and causing my cheeks to burn again with a flush of blood to my face. He smiled, it was as bright as his silver armor that had lily detailing on one side. He had a heavy cloak with fur on the inside and outside of the collar. He placed a hand to his breast and gave a gentle bow. 

“I think that you will be a satisfactory master,” he returned to standing. He offered me his arm and I gratefully took it. His armor was not as cold as I expected. The mana drain and fatigue kicked in and if it weren’t for my servant supporting me, I would have collapsed. Gawain was surprised yet stood firm, supporting my exhausted body. I struggled to keep my eyes open, I weakly uttered a word of thanks before succumbing to darkness and feeling myself falling.

When I opened my eyes, I was laying, tucked into my bed, a glass of water and an apple on my nightstand. My servant materialized and if I weren’t so fatigued I may have been surprised.  
Gawain was understandably appeared worried. 

“Master are you alright? I am relieved that you’ve awoken. You have been asleep for almost a day.” His soft blue eyes watched me tenderly. I felt his warm radiance penetrate my cold and hollow heart. I smiled weakly.

“I’m so sorry if I worried you. I should have told you about my condition up front,” I looked away in guilt and shame. “I was just afraid that if I told you about my situation that you wouldn’t accept me as a master. Your chance at victory would be higher with a different mage.” I turned to look at him, my eyes hot with tears of embarrassment. “What is your wish for the grail?”

Gawain knelt down and took one of my frail hands in his. His hands were so warm and he smiled at me, his radiant smile and his eyes gently closed to smile with them as well. 

He opened his soft and gentle eyes sparkled gently before his lips parted and he told me, “I have no wish for the grail, but I will obtain it this time for you, my King.” I must have made a face at being called King because he quickly apologized. 

“My lady, may I request to know what your wish is?” My servant asked softly.

I drank half a glass of water before replying, “My wish is for a common and easy cure for terminal and fatal diseases. I want to be the last to suffer from these things.” I looked into his beautiful eyes, hoping for some approval. He nodded, rising to his feet.

“Your wish is truly beautiful and noble. You do not desire glory, fame or wealth. Your wish would help all of humanity. With a wish like that, my sword will never falter for you, for I will get you the grail and see to it that your wish will come to fruition.” He nodded and smiled.

Groaning, I sat up on the bed, my head feeling heavy and disoriented. “I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries bringing you here,” Gawain offered an arm and I gratefully took it. “I noticed the summons drained a lot of your mana so I thought I’d take spirit form to reduce the strain on you.” He helped me walk to the kitchen. 

“Would you eating help regain some of my mana?” I asked, checking the cupboards for anything that might seem appetizing. I glanced over at him. He was within arms length and still in his full armor. 

“You probably don’t need your armor if there’s no enemies around. You can dress comfortably. Or do you need me to get you some regular clothes?” He smiled gently and shrugged his shoulders, on the down motion of the shrug his armor shattered into blue embers and he stood before me, wearing a grey v neck t shirt and a pair of loose fitting jeans. He still stood close to me, making me blush furiously because he looks like a model with rippling muscles and that radiant smile and those gentle and soft blue eyes that were always sparkling. 

“I hope this is better for you?” He smiled with his lips and his eyes. “I think if I eat it should help minimize my mana drain on you.” 

“Ah, yes, thank you,” I said, trying to contain how flustered he made me feel. “I’m afraid I don’t have any meat. I hope vegetarian is okay with you.”

“If you have potatoes that’s all I need.” Seeing me nod, his face beamed with delight, its brilliance warming my cold and empty chest cavity. 

“I think I’ll make some vegetable soup,” I decided. I smiled gently to Gawain, “Would you mind helping me?” His eyes lit up and we set to work peeling carrots, potatoes, slicing tomatoes, onions and green beans and adding them to the pot that was starting to boil with water, mashed tomato juice and cream. I added a few seasonings and herbs, stirring and humming.

I turned and smiled to him, “Thank you for your help. You’re good with a knife, good thing i summoned a saber.” I gave him a playful wink before returning my focus to the soup. 

The vegetables were softening nicely in the creamy broth and it was smelling delicious. I picked two bowls and a plate. On the plate I put a loaf of bread I had baked the day before and a knife. I continued my humming while tending to the soup and preparing the dishes. Satisfied with the soup, I dished generous portions into each bowl. I carefully walked the few steps to the table where my servant was sitting. I placed a bowl in front of him before putting my soup down in front of my chair before sitting down. 

Gawain was eyeing the soup with interest before tearing the bread in half and taking half. He inhaled a large breath, taking in the aroma of the soup. He let out the deep breath with a satisfied little huff. He hands me the other half of the bread and his warm and surprisingly soft hand brushed mine. I took the bread and averted my eyes from his soft and gentle gaze.

“I’m afraid I'm not sure how this will fare compared to the food you had during your lifetime but I hope it’s a nice first meal after being summoned,” I dipped my bread into the soup and took a bite of the aromatic and creamy soup. My servant did the same, smiling with his eyes while he chewed the bread soaked with the rich broth.

After swallowing his bite, he smiled his radiant smile and said “It is delicious master. I am grateful for the meal. Perhaps I can do some cooking for you in the future.” 

My servant proceeded to dig into his soup and I couldn’t help but watch him, hardly touching my soup until he was almost finished with his bowl. The vegetables were soft and tender and the broth thick and creamy. The soup with the homemade bread felt hearty and satisfying to eat and after being drained of so much mana from the summons and energy consumed by cooking, I quickly devoured my bowl of soup. I sat, content and relaxing, beginning to become drowsy. 

My servant must have noticed and rose from his chair, collecting the empty bowls and the plate. He started the sink to wash the dishes, feeling guilty that he’s cleaning up, I stood to help him, yet my body seemed to give out and my legs buckled and while seemly screeching I ended up with my face in his lower back and my arms around his torso, grasping onto his incredibly firm and toned abs. 

Noticing what happened, both of us caught off guard, I let go and fell back on my butt before trying to get up and shake off the embarrassment but my legs were shaking and weak. My servant, concerned, scooped me up easily and gently placed me back in the chair. Both of us having done our reflexive behavior simultaneously apologize, surprising both of us and out of embarrassment we both instinctively looked away. 

I must have nodded off because when the evening light hit my eyelids through the window, I was roused from my sleep with my head on my arms. My servant didn’t appear before me, confusing me a little and concerning me a little. I rose, got some water and drank it while walking out to check the garden. What I saw nearly took my breath away.

My knight sat in the garden, his pants dirtied after tending the garden, the soft warm light of the low sun illuminating Gawain’s resting form. He looked like a Disney character, his dirty blond hair tousled, his eyes closed and his lashes resting on his handsome face. He also had a small gathering of the forest animals that seemed to have been drawn to him. Two rabbits sniffed him tentatively, a few deer stood at the edge of the garden, watching him, four songbirds were flying around him, occasionally perching on his head or shoulders. There seemed to have been a few raccoons and squirrels that were also around him. I couldn’t help but stand and stand and admire seeing him like that for a few minutes until I must have made a noise and he stirred, sending the animals all scattering into the forest.

“Hello, master,” he smiled at me, causing me to snap back into reality. “You seemed to have fallen asleep at the table so I thought I would do some gardening. I hope you are alright with that, master. I do apologize for not going into a spirit form to keep from draining any mana.” He rose, dusted himself off before walking over to me. 

“It’s quite alright. The energy drain of gardening myself would’ve been more than your mana drain. You did me quite a big kindness in helping. I feel like an awful host, having you washing the dishes and doing the gardening,” I let out a brief, almost guilty laugh. I stepped outside and offered him my hand. 

“I’d like to talk you somewhere, it’s a short walk away but it has a beautiful view of the sunset.” He took my hand and I led him to a trail that led up a hill where a large, quite flat rock sat. The sun was beginning to dip beyond the horizon of trees, splashing purple and pink across the wispy clouds that were scattered across the sky. The rock was large enough that we could both sit on it and I let go of his hand and sat down, patting the rock. He understood what I meant and he sat down next to me.

“This view and sunset is very beautiful indeed master,” he looked at me, the warm light reflecting in his eyes made him look even warmer. 

“I’m glad you like it,” I couldn’t help but smile. The sunset wasn’t as beautiful as the valiant knight that was sitting on the rock with me but I didn’t dare to say so out loud. “I thought we should talk about the war and how we plan to go about it.” I feel my breast growing heavy with shame and embarrassment of my limited magical skills. 

“Too much travel will be detrimental to my health so I think we should stay here. I don’t know when the war will start or where. If it’s far away, we’re most likely able to make it far in the war without having to do too much fighting.” I sigh and looked over at him.

“I hope that is alright with you. I’m afraid that using your noble phantasm will likely drain my mana to the point that I will either lose consciousness or it may,” I paused and covered my face in my hands, “It may kill me. I hope these limitations don’t hinder your fighting potential or pride.”

I felt a gentle hand on my thigh which turned my cheeks a deeper red than the setting sun. I felt myself trembling but I couldn’t stop it. His hand moved from my leg to my shoulder. He then rose to his feet before putting a hand to his breast and bowing to me. 

“My sword will not falter for you my master. I will fight with all my strength to protect you and no harm will befall you, I will do all I can to minimize mana consumption and you have my word that I will not use my noble phantasm without your permission. Your noble conquest for the grail will come to fruition and your wish will come true. I swear this on my honor as a knight and as your servant and sword.” I could feel tears welling in my eyes and I swallowed hard and nodded to him. 

“Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking. “I am glad we are on the same page with this. And thank you, for not pitying me and being accommodating of my situation.” I felt bad, dumping my insecurities on him. He handled my insecurity so quickly, it warmed me.

He rose from his bow and sat back down on the rock. A tear slipped from my eye. He noticed and gently brushed it away. No blush crept to my cheeks but I did take his hand in mine and gently gave it a squeeze. We released our hands and returned our gazes to the beautiful sunset, the sun nearly gone and the purples were overtaking the warm reds and oranges and pinks that had illuminated the sky only minutes ago. 

I spoke after a few minutes of silence, “What is your wish?” He glanced over to me, his easy eyes were soft as twilight was setting in.

“You have already asked this,” he murmured. “Would you think less of me, if I said I did not have a wish in my heart for the grail? I once in my lifetime had a quest for the grail yet I was not worthy and had no desire for the grail outside retrieving it for my king, as you desire the grail now, I will succeed this time.” He leaned back a little, gently brushing shoulders. He was so warm and the air was getting chilly now that the sun had sunk out of sight. 

“Oh, I apologize, my memory isn’t the greatest,” I said, feeling embarrassed. “And I don’t think less of you at all,” a smile touched my lips and I turned and smiled with my eyes. “That means, that we can work on finding a wish for you.” I playfully punched his chest and after hesitating for a moment with my hand on his warm chest, I retrieved my hand. I could feel a blush heat my face and turned away from his warm and friendly face. He was like human sunshine. 

“Sorry for being a bit awkward, I’m afraid I tend to be quite solitary and it’s been a few weeks or months since I’ve been around anyone.”

The chill in the air was beginning to set in and I found myself tucking into myself to try and keep warm. Gawain must have noticed because he materialized his heavy and furry cloak and wrapped it around me. He rubbed the cloak over my arms to start some warmth before settling back to his leaning back position, his strong and sturdy arms, his beautiful face facing up to the stars that were appearing out of the deep purple void that was turning black. 

I coyly wrapped the cloak around me, enjoying the warmth and comforting weight to it. I also turned to gaze at the stars, in the clear, crisp air the milky way was becoming visible with the distant stars shimmering and condensed in a belt. Fireflies were hovering and illuminating the long grass. The sound of crickets chirped in the night air and there was distant chattering of raccoons and a far off hooting of an owl. I wish that I could’ve frozen that moment forever.

“I, I can’t recall the last time I felt this comfortable being around someone,” I stuttered, trying to find the right words for how he was making me feel. “I am not used to having someone help me and I am not used to having someone around. I am, so grateful for all that you’ve been doing for me.” I could feel my cheeks burning and I hid my face in the fur on the collar of the cape.

“I know some things about your legend, like that you are very powerful and thought to be invincible under the sun but at night you aren’t as strong. If you need extra mana at night, I understand. I’m afraid that being a novice master, there aren’t a lot of ways I can transfer it, but, I’m sure that we can figure something out.” The mental picture that came to mind made me blush harder, burying my face into the furry cloak. It smelled a bit floral, but I couldn’t place what flower exactly. 

“What ways can you transfer mana?” My knight’s voice was soft, genuine and curious. I swallowed my nerves, stood, softly murmured “Like this,” before placing a gentle hand on his warm chest, gazing into his eyes and kissed his cheek gently. I internally screamed but regained composure quickly and stood, hiding my face again in the fur on the collar. 

“I think we should head back soon. It’s getting late. You can stay here for a while if you wish and you are free to take spirit form or maintain physical form.” I started back down the hill, glancing up at his silhouette, outlined by the stars and illuminated by the soft glow of fireflies. I walked back to the house, gently touching my lips. I returned to the house by myself, wrapping myself in the cloak, I fell asleep, my last conscious thought, that the cloak smelled like lilies.


	2. The Sunshine

I stirred, still wrapped in my knight’s cloak. I buried my nose in the warm fur of the collar, breathing in deeply the smell of lilies. I sat up, stretched and took a moment because I felt lightheaded. I rose after I stabilized, placing the cloak on my bed. I got some clean clothes and went to shower. 

I shed my clothes and started the hot water before prepping towels. The hot water felt so refreshing and soothing. The heat made me think of my knight, and the kiss I placed on his cheek. I touched my lips again as I remembered it. My eyes widened when I remembered that my knight might be in spirit form and watching me. 

“Gawain?” I asked and paused. There was no answer and he didn’t appear. I repeated his name, but louder. There was no answer. He didn’t seem to be the type to not appear when requested so he must have been in physical form which was a relief to say the least. It did bring up the question of where he was though. I enjoyed the rest of my shower and was put at ease knowing that my knight was surely nearby to be able to protect me should anything would happen. 

I dressed quickly after my shower, having realized how late in the day it was and because I was beginning to become hungry. I slung a towel across my shoulders to keep my wet hair from dripping all over my shirt. Something smelled delightful. My knight must have been cooking something. 

While walking past my room I couldn’t help but make a quick detour to stand in front of my bed and hold his cloak in my hands, burying my face in the soft fur, what kind of fur was it? I couldn’t tell. 

The fatigue was starting to hit and I sat down on my bed, wrapping the cloak around me and curled up on my bed, still rubbing my face inside the cloak. I could fall back asleep but I was growing hungry and whatever my knight was cooking smelled delicious. Rubbing my face on the soft fur once more, I composed myself, put the cloak down and walked to the kitchen.

What I saw in the kitchen made me smile. I leaned in the doorway, admiring the handsome man humming and cooking. He was wearing a dark blue t shirt and jeans, cooking something that smelled lovely. The sight of him like this made my chest feel warm with what must be joy. He turned, saw me and his face lit in a smile. 

“Oh, master, I was about to go and find you. The food is just about ready and it will be best when it is hot.” He began to dish up the food.

“It smells good and quite frankly I’m starving.” I sat at the table and he placed a plate of mashed potatoes and sauteed vegetables in front of me. “No plate for yourself?” I asked, puzzled at why he only made one plate. He then opened the oven, taking out a tray with two loaves of freshly baked bread on them, the delightful aroma making me salivate a little. Wait.

“OH MY GOD WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING AN OVEN MITT? YOU’RE GOING TO BURN YOUR FUCKING HAND.” I couldn’t help but yell. He looked a bit puzzled, putting the tray down on the counter. I bolted to my feet, ignoring the lightheaded feeling that came with standing fast. I grabbed his hand, very hot but not burned at all. 

“What?” I asked in absolute confusion. 

“Master,” he let out a gentle chuckle, smiling with his mouth and soft eyes. “I am the knight of the sun and my sword does light on fire and becomes as hot as the sun sometimes. Extreme heat does not bother me.” 

I released his hand, realizing that I was holding it with both of mine. “Ah,” I said, feeling a bit embarrassed to be so bold but my concern for him overrode my shyness. “You never answered my question. Are you going to eat?” I said, trying to revert to the prior topic. 

“I was not planning to,” he said as I sat back down. He picked up a loaf of bread, wrapped it in some paper towel and placed it next to my plate before sitting across the small table to me. He gave me a gentle smile, “Are you worried about my well being master? Or are you simply worried about my mana drain?”

I WAS worried about his well being but I didn’t want to say that so I said a truth that just wasn’t the whole truth. 

“I just would feel awkward if I was the only one eating.” He smiled again, this time with his eyes too. 

“But you were watching me eat yesterday, master. Why wouldn’t it be okay for me to watch you this time?” I felt my face grow hot with a blush because I didn’t think he noticed that I had been watching him. 

“I just, wanted to see your reaction to my cooking and modern food,” I said, again not a lie but also not the whole truth. 

He smiled again, “Ah, my mistake master,” he said. 

“So is that a no to eating with me?” I asked, trying to get back on the original topic. I played with some of the sauteed carrots while I waited for a response from him. 

“If it would make you happy master, I will gladly make myself a plate.” I nodded and he rose to make himself a plate of potatoes and the seasoned and sauteed vegetables. 

Satisfied with him dishing up I started eating. The potatoes were a bit bland, but the vegetables he did season, so I stabbed some broccoli and dragged it through the potatoes before eating it. The texture and the seasoning of the vegetables helped improve the potatoes greatly. He sat and began eating himself. 

He cocked an eyebrow at me eating like that but didn’t say anything about it. Being the culinary genius I am, I proceeded to take the hot bread and using my fork spread some of the potatoes on the bread. The bread was hot and soft and tasted sweet. He might have added honey to the bread and it was delightful. I closed my eyes and let out a soft ‘mmmm’ and he must have heard because we made eye contact after I swallowed and opened my eyes. I felt a bit embarrassed but he didn’t seem to mind. 

“I take it that you like the bread?” He smiled, he seemed genuinely glad.

“Ah, yeah it’s really good. Would you like some?” I gestured at the rest of the loaf but his eyes sparkled mischievously. 

“You could, just give me a bite of yours,” his face was serious but still maintained his usual level of lightheartedness. I blinked in surprise and confusion. 

“Uhhh, okay.” I said, I scooped some mashed potatoes onto the bread and leaned across the table. He leaned forwards, tentatively took a bite and nodded. He wiped away a bit of potato on his lip and I had to look away. 

“That is much better. I should have put some seasoning in the potatoes, huh.” He finished chewing and swallowed. He seemed a bit disgruntled that I took the bread back. I handed him the other half of the loaf.

“Have your own bread! Or do you want me to keep feeding you?” I let out a gentle and short laugh, making his eyes sparkle. 

“Only if you want that master,” his face lit up, making me blush and look away. 

“I was joking,” I said, embarrassed. I handed him the untouched half of the bread. He took it gratefully. I tentatively took another bite of my bread, hesitating to eat where he bit. We continued eating in silence. 

After finishing our meal, he proceeded to get up and gather the dishes. I opened my mouth to protest him washing dishes, especially because he cooked this time. 

“It’s okay to accept help, master,” he said simply. “The potatoes were bland, huh.” He seemed hung up on that revelation and it made me feel guilty. 

“If you’d like, next time we make mashed potatoes I can show you some of the ways you can season them.” I suggested, hoping to cheer up my knight a little bit. The suggestion did seem to raise his spirits a little bit. “I’m going to get started on the gardening, if you don’t mind. You’re free to join me after the dishes.”

My knight nodded and resumed humming the same tune as he was when he was cooking. 

“That song sounds lovely,” I said while rising. “Maybe you can sing it for me sometime.” I walked out the door to the garden before he gave a response. 

Gardening is so relaxing. Therapeutic even. The satisfying feeling of tending to living things and being able to produce delightful meals from the efforts. Gardening meant lots of vegetables without having to go into town. 

I didn’t have a car but had a sweet and relaxed brown mare. Growing up my mother had horses so I knew how to ride. A horse agreed with me more than a car. The mare, named Astra because of the white blaze on her head between her eyes was grazing near the house. She had a very relaxed temperament and while she had a shed for protection from the elements, she didn’t require a fence because she never strayed far from the house. She raised her head to see what was making noise, seeing me she proceeded to go back to grazing. 

The sun’s position made me guess it was about 2 pm, the warmth of the sun warming the dirt and my back as I began to weed around the stalks of corn. He did a pretty decent job of tending the plants yesterday. I was weeding the strawberries when Gawain came out of the house. He took a deep breath of the fresh air before taking a moment to soak in the warmth of the sun. 

“Oh yeah,” I said, smiling, “you’re like solar powered huh.” I let out a gentle chuckle. He grinned, his smile even brighter than the sun. It was almost blinding so I turned back to the plants. He moved over to a different part of the garden and I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I trusted that he wouldn’t make mischief. I tenderly stroked one of the strawberry plant’s leaves, feeling guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I neglected you yesterday. Please forgive me.” I felt a tear slip down my left cheek and I wiped it with the back of my hand to keep from getting dirt in my eye. I knew the plants wouldn’t have died if I missed a day of their care, but I knew they primarily relied on me to survive. It wouldn’t be fair for me to plant them, tend them and raise them only for me to die and leave them to fend for themselves. I pulled myself together, not wanting my knight to see me like this. 

I rose to fill one of my watering cans with water from the outdoor spout. I filled it a bit too full, my arms shook and I strained against the weight with my strength that has been waning for months. I dared not let Gawain see, so I ended up over watering the cucumbers because they were the nearest to the spout.

I knew it wasn’t really my fault but I knew my strength was waning from the illness, but I tried to ignore it so I could keep doing the things I had been doing before all of this went down. My limitations kept getting harder and harder to accept. I hadn’t been able to work on my magecraft for weeks. I hated this helpless feeling so much. Looking over at my knight, I felt my heart swell with warmth and gratefulness. He had accepted me, limitations and all. He even has been doing everything he can to minimize his mana consumption and agreed not to use his noble phantasm. 

I finished my watering, except the area where he was working. I filled the can half full of water before carrying it over to where he was. He was crouched over a small, flowering plant. It’s white petals stretching out, facing him the way some flowers move to face the sun for more light. He seemed quite consumed in his tending of the flowers but he greeted me when I approached. 

“Are those, flowers?” I asked, a bit confused where he would have gotten flower seeds considering I didn’t have any. I put the can down and leaned against him, putting my elbow on his muscular back. 

“Yes,” he said, I could feel the vibration of his talking through where I was touching him. He was so warm, he radiated warmth like a sun in a muscular human suit. 

“Are they lilies?” I asked, not fully recalling what lilies looked like. I wasn’t very well versed in flowers. 

“Yes,” he said, sounding a bit surprised. “How did you know that?”

I felt my face grow a bit red. “Oh, when you gave me your cloak last night, I thought that’s what it smelled like.” I knew he couldn’t see my face but I still instinctively looked away. 

“Really?” He asked. I wouldn’t say it out loud but the vibrations of his talking felt oddly soothing and nice. “I didn’t really know it did.”

“Oh, also if you’d like your cloak back, it’s on my bed. I kinda slept in it last night.” Now my face was red. If he saw my face I’d blame the red on the sun, rude to scapegoat his astral equivalent, but again, one of those not total truths. He let out a soft laugh, shaking his whole body. I had to fight the desire to rest my head on his warm, muscular shoulders. It was making me a little sleepy. 

“If you like it, you can hold onto it for now. I don’t need it,” he said softly. I gave into my urge and rested my head on my arm on his shoulder. “Thanks,” I murmured, growing very drowsy. “It’s very nice.” 

I closed my eyes and I don’t know how long passed before I roused by a very noisy bird’s chirping. I rubbed my face on the warm and soft surface that my face was on. It wasn’t my arm. It was rougher than that but not hard or uncomfortable. It was warm and comforting. But I was laying. I wasn’t laying down a minute ago. I was leaning against Gawain. Wait. Gawain. My eyes snapped open and I jolted up, accidentally colliding with my knight’s head. My head had been resting in his lap. 

“Ow, what,” I said, sitting up and putting a hand to my throbbing head. “What, what’s going on? Gawain? Saber?” I felt disoriented and a bit parched. Also there was that loud bird chirping. 

“I’m here master. We were gardening, you fell asleep and fell over, I caught you and figured the fresh air and resting out here would be nicer than me taking you to your bed,” his voice was soft. 

So soft. I felt his warm, strong hand stroke my hair lightly and his hand slipped on top of where mine was holding where I smacked into him with. I instinctively leaned my head into his hand. I struggled to open my eyes, the light disorienting me a little. Gawain’s forehead had a slight red mark on it from where we collided. 

“Oh,” I murmured, feeling guilty about headbutting my knight. I slipped my hand out from under his, shifting into a kneeling position facing him. Taking his head gently into my hands, I let out a soft, “sorry,” before gently kissing the red mark on his forehead. I hadn’t considered it was a mana transfer and the mark vanished after my lips touched his skin.

The bird’s loud chirping snapped me back into reality where I was holding my knights face in my hands and he had a hand cupping my head that was still throbbing. Our faces were very close and we were in an embrace that made us stare into each others eyes. I could see mine widen in the reflection of his. 

“Why thank you for that healing master,” he said softly, smiling with his mouth but not his eyes which were still fixated on mine. I felt my face burning and my head throbbing and the loud bird’s chirping was starting to give me something of a headache. What was that bird? Oh, right. 

“Oh my god, that’s one of my familiars,” I realized, trying not to seem like I was jumping away from him. I tried to jump to my feet, but my head had other ideas, the fast movement and likely dehydration made me almost pass out, my arms suddenly swaying as my vision got cloudy and my body felt frighteningly light. I felt a strong, sturdy arm and braced myself on it until the sensation passed. 

“Thank you,” I murmured to my knight, grateful he was there. 

“Of course, master,” my knight said. Able to see and stand, I asked if he could bring me some water. He obliged of course and I placed my arm out, for the irritated little bird familiar to perch.I had forgotten about my bird familiars that resided in the forest and nearby town. By the time my knight returned, the message had been relayed. My knight offered me the water bottle and I gratefully drank the entire thing before telling him the report. Two masters had been spotted in the nearby town. We would have at most two days until they would find us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get so wrapped up in writing food scenes that I forget to eat irl


	3. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUCKIN GOD I GUESS EXCLUSIVE NEW CHAPTER. I WAS HUNGOVER WHEN I WROTE THIS WHICH MIGHT BE WHY I WAS IFFY ABOUT UPLOADING IT BUT OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY GUYS

Gawain and I sat at the table, the window above the table open and the warm sun of evening was starting to descend farther down the sky. Every so often a bird familiar would fly through the window with reports. 

“So, it looks like the mages in town have some sort of truce,” I said, eating a few fresh blackberries that we picked before coming back in. I also had a glass of water that I sipped from frequently, still very warm and a bit red from falling asleep in the garden. He sat next to me, his handsome face resting on his hand, his arm propped up on the table. 

“It seems to be the berserker class servant and the lancer class servant. They’ve stayed in spirit form for most of the time. They’ve been working on setting up a mutual base, odd even for mages in an alliance.” I popped another berry into my mouth and looked at my servant, his soft blue eyes deep in thought.

“Hello? Hello?” I said, trying to get him to pay attention. I picked up a berry and dangled it in front of his face. “Hello, earth to Saber? Are you there?” He seems to have snapped back to reality, he turned to look at me and smiled. He leaned forward, gently took the berry in his mouth before taking his hands, held mine and kissed it. He released my hand and chewed the tart berry. 

“Please forgive my absentmindedness master,” he gave me an apologetic smile. I knew he wouldn’t say it but he was worried. I was worried as well and I felt a ripple of guilt for making him feel worried. “I meant no disrespect. I have a lot on my mind at the moment.” I smiled to him and placed my cold, trembling hands on his, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“There is no need to apologize, there’s a lot of things on my mind as well. I’m just not used to fighting and I’m afraid I won’t be too much help as far as fighting goes so I want to be as helpful as I can be to you,” my voice faltered and I lowered my eyes. “I am going to have to rely on you, my valiant knight.” Gawain placed his other hand on top of mine. 

“And I will protect you with my life, my lady,” he assured me. He let out a deep breath. We untangled our hands and ate the rest of the berries in silence. The sun was beginning to brush the treeline. 

“Hey,” my knight said softly, breaking the silence. “The sun is setting, let’s go watch it.” I nodded. We rose from the table, each of us getting a few things. 

By the time I retrieved his cloak from my room, he was gone, already out to the rock. There was a chill in the air now and the wind had picked up since earlier, I struggled against it to walk up the hill. I got up to where he was, trying to act like I wasn’t as tired as fighting the wind made me. 

I knelt behind him on the rock, wrapping the cloak around his shoulders before putting my right arm on his shoulder, wrapping my arm around his neck and resting my head on his left shoulder, nuzzling into the fur on the cloak. He gently placed his head on mine, letting out a deep sigh. I’m not sure for how long we stayed like that but the sun nearly set by the time I sat next to him. It was genuinely cold out now and I sat next to him. He held his arm up and I gratefully got close to him. His arm was gentle around me, wrapping the cloak around both of us. 

“Here,” he handed me a glass of blackberry wine that he brought from the house. I gratefully took it and sipped the sweet alcohol. I let out a deep sigh. He poured himself a glass and placed the bottle down beside him. I could see that he brought the bottle of cherry wine out with him too. I drank half my cup before I spoke. 

“Can you tell me a story? About your life? I want to know more about you.” The dying sunlight fell on my knights face, he took a long drink from his cup before he spoke. He looked down and my face, a bit of pink touching his cheeks but that could be the alcohol or from the setting sun. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting but I didn’t shy away from his gaze. 

He smiled, “How about I tell you the story of another knight of the round table? His name was Sir Yvain and he had a lion that followed him like a dog.” I finished my cup and he filled it again before draining his and refilling his own. I leaned into him, watching as the stars started appearing in the night sky. I let out a huffy sigh. 

“Sir Yvain isn’t my servant. I don’t care about him. I want to know about you,” I said, looking back up at him, he was looking away. It was odd he was both avoiding talking about himself and avoiding my eyes. I was a bit irritated because I wanted to know more about him but he didn’t seem interested in the topic for some reason. 

I let out a defeated sigh, “Alright, if you won’t talk about yourself I guess I’ll listen to you talk about the other knights.” I sipped my wine, a bit salty but I wanted to enjoy this time with him. I didn’t know how much time I had left with him. 

“Thank you, master,” he gently kissed my forehead, his breath smelling like the fruity wine. My already reddening cheeks from the alcohol became burning hot. “I think I’ll tell you the tale of Lancelot and Elaine. You see, it all started when Lancelot said he would win a tournament for a lord……”

“I cannot BELIEVE that. No WAY that happened! She really died?” I could tell I was being loud and rambunctious but with the weight I’d been losing from the illness, I was able to get drunk quickly. The tale took Gawain about half an hour to finish and we both were feeling the alcohol. He drank almost the entire bottle of the cherry wine by himself. 

“She did! It was tragic at the time because she was a lovely young maiden, but looking at it now, it’s very funny,” Gawain let out a hearty laugh. “Lancelot cried over it for a few days.” We both started laughing. 

Both bottles of wine were empty and our glasses were on the grass by our feet. I could feel that I was drunk and the wine was making me bold. I had to keep fighting the urge to be more affectionate. I would have to settle with his warm arm wrapped around me and the feeling of our hips and legs touching where we were snuggled together. We both stopped laughing and my knight gently stroked my hair with his free hand. He let out a deep sigh and I followed in suit. 

“Thank you, for the company, for everything,” I murmured, he rested his chin against my forehead and he gently tucked my face in closer to his chest. 

I felt so secure, so warm, so safe. I wished I could stay like this forever. I knew though that the storm for us would be hitting soon. I knew if we had to face both servants at the same time or both within a short time span that my mana and strength would fail. 

My knight was so strong and kind and I knew he could win easily with a strong, experienced master. I began to feel overwhelmed with guilt of not being stronger for my knight and fear because I knew that my lifespan would come to an end within two months even if the war didn’t happen and the welling emotions made my eyes well.

“Hey,” my knight’s soft voice murmured into my ear. I began breaking out into sobs, my breath and chest heaving, my eyes overflowing. 

Gawain gently scooped me up, moving me onto his lap. I buried my face in his chest. He wrapped the cloak and his arms around me, he planted a kiss on my forehead before resting his cheek on my head. Gawain’s muscular and warm arms were firm and warm, holding me firm against him while I gently clenched his shirt and sobbed into his muscular chest. 

I was going to die within a week and even if we beat the other masters, unless we get the grail, it will have been in vain and he would die too. I knew my death would mean the eventual death of all my plants and I knew Astra the horse would also eventually die. I knew all of this, but the thought of my death impacing Gawain hit me like a punch to the throat. I didn’t care about my death until I realized that it would affect this sunny, kind and joyful man. 

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed into his chest. He rubbed my back, rocking us gently. “I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t stop myself from repeating apologies. “You deserve so much better, I’m going to get us killed. I’m so so sorry.”

Gawain said nothing, instead rubbing my back, swaying and humming gently. I could feel myself getting so sleepy, so tired, so relaxed, so comfortable, so warm, so safe. I felt myself slowing and relaxing; my eyes closing and I felt like I was spinning like the earth before losing consciousness. 

When I awoke, I was wrapped in Gawain’s cloak and laying in bed. He must have carried me there from the rock last night. Oh god, last night. I got drunk and cried in Gawain’s arms. My head was fuzzy and I was probably hungover. I nearly fell trying to stand up, but I managed to catch myself on my bed. 

After stabilizing, I walked into the kitchen, surprised that Gawain wasn’t there. I drank two glasses of water, hoping it will help with the headache. I noticed that he had brought two of the lilies from the garden and placed them in a vase on the table. It was a nice gesture I thought.

The second loaf of bread he baked yesterday was in the fridge. I helped myself to it, enjoying the sweetness from the added honey. I walked outside while eating it, still looking for my knight. 

He wasn’t in the garden, causing me a bit of panic. Was he at the rock? If he was in spirit form I was sure he would have appeared by now. If we had been attacked I would have felt it with the bounded field. The field was weak but it was the best I could manage. 

“Saber?” I called, avoiding using his name because other ears could be listening. I took a bite of bread and started walking around the yard. He had to be close, but where was he?

I did find him, to my relief. He was braiding wild flowers into Astra’s mane and humming. Astra was grazing and didn’t really care but Gawin seemed to have been enjoying himself. As I approached, Astra raised her head, the flower he was braiding into her mane fell into the grass. My knight let out a ‘tsk’ but as Astra resumed her grazing, the flower was amongst the grass that she ripped from the ground. 

“Oh, how rude,” my knight said to her. He looked up, saw me and smiled. “Hello master, good to see you up.” 

“Do you need a new flower?” I asked, I took another bite of bread. 

“I suppose,” my knight replied.

“I have an idea, hold this,” I walked up to him, handed him the bread before heading into the garden. I found the lilies he planted and picked one, it was lovely, light and fragile. I returned to my knight and my steed. 

“Here, trade,” I handed him the flower and he handed me the bread back. 

He held the lily for a moment, he let out a gentle sigh and smiled. “Thank you master, this is perfect.” He tenderly braided the lily into the last section of Astra’s mane. 

“She’s never looked prettier,” I said, taking another bite of bread. Astra snorted, still ripping up grass and chewing away. “Or less amused.” 

I ripped the rest of the bread in half and handed him half. He gratefully took it and took a bite. We chewed our bread together, watching Astra graze. Remembering that I sobbed into his chest last night, I felt too embarrassed to look at him. 

“I wanted to say,” I spoke, not looking at him. “That I’m sorry for how I acted last night.”

Gawain swallowed his bite of bread and stepped in front of me, he took my free hand in his, holding my fingers lightly in his warm palm. I still avoided eye contact, so with his other hand, still holding the bread, he lifted my face gently so we made eye contact. 

“My master,” he said, entirely serious. “I ask that you not apologize. I understand you are under a lot of stress. As your servant, I would ask that you allow me to shoulder at least some of that stress for you.” He dropped the hand under my chin and held it to his breast before bowing to kiss the top of my hand. 

“Thank you,” I said softly, my heart softening at his words. 

He seemed to be satisfied with that and released my hand. I let out what sounded like a sigh but it was more of a release because I hadn’t noticed that I had paused my breathing without realizing it. I then did close my eyes and take a deep breath and relaxing my shoulders because I realized I was holding a lot of stress in them. On the exhale, one of my knees buckled a bit and I instinctively opened my eyes, threw my arms out and steadied myself, almost having fallen over. 

“Are you alright master?” my knight was in frozen inches from me, he must have lunged to catch me. “You were swaying a lot even though you just closed your eyes for a minute.” His soft eyes watching me with concern. 

“Yes,” I said, trying to not worry him more. “I do think it’s time to go inside or just time to sit for a bit.” I didn’t want to tell him that I was growing tired even though I had only been standing for about half an hour. 

“There’s a nice apple tree we could sit under that’s nearby,” I suggested. It was a lovely day, a little cloudy but still warm with little wind. I wasn’t sure why but taking him out of the sun felt almost rude. I finished my bread and offered him my hand.

“If that is what you would like to do master, I will gladly accompany you,” he accepted my hand and finished his bread as well. 

The walk was only a few minutes but by the time we got to the tree I absolutely needed to sit down. The long grass that was under the tree was soft and I sat down quickly when we got there. After I was seated, Gawain also sat. 

The sound of insects chirped ambivalently but there was almost no bird calls. The grass was warm and soft and I couldn’t help but lay down on my back, arms behind my head. Sunlight filtered through the leaves and the small, immature apples. I let out a deep sigh, enjoying the fresh air. I hoped my knight was enjoying it as well. 

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I spoke, breaking the silence between us. “I planted this tree you know,” I said, turning my head a bit to look at him. He looked peaceful and lovely as ever, dappled sunlight falling on his hair.

“Really? It looks older than you are master.” My knight replied, looking at the tree up and down. 

“Yeah,” I smiled, feeling a bit proud. “The tree is only 2 years old. My magecraft isn’t the strongest and while I can’t do a lot of things that other mages can, I always liked seeing how I could use magecraft to improve plants. This tree is one of the fruits of that labor. I can make it grow faster if I apply mana to it and even if I don’t apply mana to it, the apples from it contain mana.” 

“Really?” my knight’s voice sounded excited. I could hear Gawain get up from the grass and I sat up to see what he was doing. 

He raised a hand to the air, his long sword, silver with blue markings appeared in his hand. He made an arc, losing a few apples from the tree, one of them smacking me in the face. I let out a surprised noise and flinched before gently rubbing my face where it hit, the surprise made me start laughing. 

My knight planted the tip of his sword in the dirt, leaving it standing while he rushed to me, holding two apples in the hand that was free. 

“Are you alright master?” He sat on his heels next to me, gently trying to move my hands to see where it hit.

“Oh no, I’m okay,” I said, still rubbing my face and laughing.

“Let me see, master.” He said, still gently trying to move my hands. 

I knew he wouldn’t let me be until he could see that I was okay so I stopped laughing and moved my hands. His warm fingers gently traced my forehead where the apple hit, I couldn’t help but smile. I could feel my eyes watering a bit, either from the laughing or from flinching and I could feel him lift his fingers from my forehead before wiping the tear that started to slip from the corner of my eye. 

I opened my eyes, my knight’s face inches from mine. His lips matched mine with a smile. 

“You’re right,” he said, placing one of the apples from his hand into mine. He sat down next to me, rolling the small apple in his hand before taking a bite. 

The apple was small and wouldn’t be ripe for at least a week but with all the trouble the two of us went through for it, I figured I should at least eat it. I took a bite. The crunch of the peel breaking was satisfying, but the flavor was dreadful and the texture was wrong. It was like trying to eat bitter sand. I could only chew a few times before having to spit it out. 

“Oh no,” I said, inspecting the apple. “This is all wrong. You don’t have to eat-” I ended my sentences because when I looked at my knight, his apple was almost gone. He swallowed and then popped the rest of it in his mouth. He looked like he was grimacing a bit while doing so, but he did eat it, core and all.

“You didn’t have to eat that,” I said, feeling a bit baffled and guilty. “I’m afraid the mana apples are well, this was a first attempt. When this is over, I plan to continue my work with plants like this. You really didn’t have to eat that to make me feel better.” 

My knight gently took the apple in my hand, took it in his own and holding it by the stem, started eating the apple starting from the bottom. I found myself absolutely baffled, watching him eat the second apple. After he finished, he wiped his mouth and smiled at me. 

“My apologies if it seemed that I only ate them for your pride, master. The apples do contain good mana and it can help me recover my energy without taking more of yours.” They were awful but he was too nice to not eat them. He was right that there was good mana in them and if I had the stomach for it, I would eat them as well. 

“How about when this is all over, I create some good tasting mana apples?” That made me knight’s face light up. 

“I’ll hold you to it then,” he smiled to me, took my hand and kissed it, my cheeks flushed when I realized what I just said. 

“I think it’s about time for us to head back to the house, I’ll make us some potatoes for dinner.” I said, trying to change the subject and trying to think of a way to get the bitter taste from the apple out of my mouth.

My knight rose first, offering me his hand and I gratefully took it. He helped me to my feet and gently let my hand go to retrieve his sword. I began back to the house and my knight came jogging back to my side and I noticed he had an armful of apples. He gently took my hand in his when he caught up, surprising me.

“What are you doing?” I asked. It wasn’t bad, just not expected. I gently let go of his hand.

“Will you allow me to escort you back, my lady?” His words made me blush, he was as sincere as ever, offering his arm instead of his hand. 

“I will,” I took his arm and we resumed walking. I turned to him as we were walking, leaned close to him and gave him a faux doe eyed look, “My valiant knight.” I was joking to an extent and after saying that the two of us smiled at each other and walked back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK. TYSM FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND MY DUMB FUCKIN NATURE
> 
> Also Yvain is p cool check out his legend.
> 
> And one of the Lancelot and Elaine tales. I'm into arthurian legends now but i didnt know a ton when i was writing this : )


	4. The Clash

We had just gotten back to the house when the bounded field went off. My blood felt like ice as I felt the field’s warning, a shudder ran through me. My knight dropped the apples and I knew he could tell that we had company as well. The sun was grazing the horizon but the adrenaline that started flowing through my muscles wouldn’t give me time to worry about that right now.

“You feel it too, don’t you Saber. We have company. You might want to put on your armor now.” I gently let go of his arm and in a swift motion his armor and sword were equipped.

“Master, I am only sensing a servant, but only a servant.” His eyes were narrowed, he was more serious than I’d seen him yet. He was sensing, his gaze distant.

“We need to get away from the house, fighting in the forest would give us the best cover.” I took his armored hand in mine and started to run, trying to lead him forward but he wasn’t having it. “Saber,” I said, trying to pull him. His attention snapped back to me, moving forward to me, he let go of my hand and instead scooped me up with his left arm, his right one holding his sword.

“Hold on, master,” he said, and I obliged, wrapping my arms around his neck and anxiously burying my face in the fur of the cloak on his shoulders. He moved quickly and evenly, his strides a cross between a jump and run until we were probably a quarter mile from the house when he stopped suddenly. He froze for a moment before placing me down gently.

“Master, the other servant is near. I don’t want you to get too close, as long as it is just the one I will be able to keep you safe, if the second or a master shows up I want you to run to the house. If things go poorly I want you to get on your horse and I want you to run and leave me behind.” He planted the tip of his sword in the earth before using both his hands to loose my arms that were still around his neck. “I need you to stay safe master.”

“I’ll let you know if I can sense anything else,” I said. I gently removed my arms from around neck. “I’ll try to keep my distance and I will do what I can.”

He bowed and kissed my hand but his eyes betrayed how he truly felt. We both were feeling afraid and he released me, turning to leave me and go to fight. My entire body felt trembling and the fight hadn’t even started and I was filled with a million regrets.

“Saber!” I found myself call out, not feeling my legs quite right, I found myself running to him. He turned and upon catching up to him, I threw my arms around his neck, pressed myself against his shining breastplate before closing my eyes and planting a kiss on his soft lips.

The two of us stood frozen like that for a moment before his free hand gently moved to my face, caressing my cheek, kissing me back. I could feel his eyelashes brush my face as he closed his eyes and I moved one of my hands into the thick and wavy hair on the back of his neck, pushing his soft lips harder against mine. After a moment, I gently untangled myself from him, my heart beating wildly inside my chest.

“That was, ah, for good luck,” I stammered before composing myself. “Now go forth! Fight and win for me!”

My knight’s eyes sparkled, “I am certain to achieve victory for you now, my lady.” He drew me in for a final kiss before stroking my hair and running towards the mana source that had breached the field.

I watched him go, shedding a tear as I watched my brave knight running into danger. I composed myself before walking towards where I saw him go. Even from where I was, I knew that my knight must have made contact because I could hear them clashing weapons.

I was about half way from where we kissed to where they were fighting before I could feel it. An overwhelming shattering of the bounded field, the entire thing vanished. I let out a pained gasp, leaning against a tree.

‘Saber,’ I said through our link. ‘The second servant is here. We need to get out of here.’ Once I was able to move, I started running back towards the house. My lungs were burning and my legs felt numb but I kept going. The sun was nearly gone from the horizon now.

‘My lady, you need to get out of here. Take your horse, now.’

I could feel dread and my sweat turn cold as I arrived at the house to see the second servant walking out of the trees.

‘The second servant is here,’ I felt tears well in fear. I couldn’t see Astra and the second servant was coming.

‘I know my lady, it’s why you need to get out of there.’

‘She’s here, at the house. I don’t know where the horse is.’ I opened the door to the house and ran into the kitchen, digging through the drawers to find a good knife.

‘Hang in there my lady, I’m coming to you.’ Tears were flowing as I thought about my knight having to fight both of them because of me.

The enemy servant broke down the door, she wore something like a uniform and she held a gun. I pointed the knife at her.

“YOU OWE ME A FUCKING DOOR,” I yelled out of fear and anxiety. I felt like I was going to vomit.

“You’re the enemy master? You’re weak.” The servant looked almost concerned. “You’re pale and your mana is almost nonexistant. What is wrong with you? You should have known this war would kill you.”

“I’m already dying,” I said. “I was terminal before this war even started. This war is my chance to help others before I bite it.”

This seemed to have taken the servant off guard, she lowered her gun.

“No master,” she said to seemingly herself. “Master, I want to help her. I, no. No master I don’t want to fight her, I want to heal her.” She let out a big sigh. “I’m sorry weak master, I don’t want to kill you so I won’t.”

The other servant must have had a command spell used on them because he appeared next to her, his green robes singed by my knight’s attacks. He proceeded to kick me in the chest, sending me falling on my back, hitting my head and taking the wind out of me.

‘They both are here,’ I could feel anguish, knowing my knight wouldn’t be able to beat them both at the same time.

“Yeah, so my master is making me do it. They’re bastards like that.” The servant’s spear appeared in his hand.

“Forgive me, please,” I whispered, I only had a few moments and I had to make this fast. “By my first command seal, I order you, Sir Gawain, to achieve victory in this war and to obtain the Holy Grail.” The seal vanished off my hand.

‘My lady I am almost there, please hang on.’

The Lancer spun his lance, knocking everything off the table as he walked past, sending the lilies my knight had picked flying.

“The saber will be here in 30 seconds, Lancer,” the berserker said, looking out the window.

“By my second command seal, I order you, Sir Gawain, to find a wish in your heart for the Grail and to obtain what you desire.” The second seal vanished.

‘No, what are you doing? I’m so close! I can make it in time! Have faith in me, my lady!’

“He’s through the trees, Lancer. You have 15 seconds.” The berserker raised her gun.

“By my final command seal, I order you, Sir Gawain, to mount Astra, the horse and leave this place, not to return before the sun rises.” The seal vanished, leaving my hand bare. I dropped the knife, trading it for one of the lilies that had fallen.

‘MY LADY, NO,’ my knight cried in anguish as he was teleported away.

‘Please, forgive me,’ I shed one last tear. I held the lily up to my face, taking a deep inhale of the scent that made me think of my knight, relaxing me to accept my fate.

“Thanks for makin’ this easy for us,” the Lancer said, stabbing me through the heart with his gold tipped spear.

‘Good…..bye…...sunshine…….’ Was all I could say, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of act 1 tysm for sticking with me!


	5. The Tears

Gawain stopped and dismounted from the horse, patting the animal’s neck gratefully. It had been hours since the two had left the residency of his master but they were back now. The sunlight falling on the garden and his master’s house as he walked back, his chest heavy with regret and shame rising in his breast. With each step closer to the house, the worse he felt. 

The enemy servants were not there and the events of earlier weighed on his mind and heart. His master’s horse walked back with him to his house, its breathing heavy from the running. They weren’t pursued by the enemy servants which had surprised him a bit. 

When they returned to the house, Gawain gently ran a hand down the broken door frame gently before stepping into the house, he knew what he would see would anguish him but he had to see it. 

When he stepped into the kitchen and saw what he was bracing for, he could feel a lump form in his throat, making it hard to swallow. His master lay motionless on her back, a pool of her own blood, a lily lightly resting in her hand, gently bent to her face. The white flower speckled with blood that must have been exhaled from blood filling her lungs after her heart being pierced. She looked so fragile.

Gawain uttered a shaky sigh, feeling his heart break. His eyes began to feel hot and he knew tears would be coming soon. 

He came to her side and knelt beside her, ignoring the fact that his knees were in her pooled blood and with one arm behind her upper back, running up her back and his hand supporting the blood soaked back of her head, his fingers tangled into her bloody hair. With his other arm, he wrapped it around her waist and pulled her still body onto his lap, feeling his eyes grow cloudy from the tears welling. 

When he blinked the tears started to fall and fall they did. He was glad to be alone because he couldn’t contain his anguish. His usually cheery and sparkling eyes overflowing while he let out choked sobs. His master, his lady, she had trusted him, relied on him, loved him perhaps even. She was amazing, brave, kind and honest. 

He pressed his forehead against her cold one, tears falling on her face. He closed his eyes, tear droplets sticking to his eyelashes and rolling down his cheeks. Through everything she had been so warm even with her situation, so kind, she felt like home and her home felt like his. 

“Please, forgive me, my lady. Please forgive me,” he choked out, his breathing ragged and his voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He heard himself repeating and struggled to stop. 

Had he known what would happen he would’ve kissed her more, harder, more passionately before going to face the lancer. Had he known he would’ve told her to take the horse and flee. 

Had he known, had he known, had he known, had he known, had he known. 

Regrets running rampant through his head, he opened his eyes, wishing hers would open again. Wishing hers would open, wishing hers would look away while she would blush, shy but affectionate. Wishing her cheeks would turn pink at being so close to him, at him holding her, at him so close to her face, watching her. 

The horse snorted outside and he came to his senses a bit. He planted a kiss on her forehead before moving her, gently resting her head on his chest, he scooped her up bridal style. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, m’lady,” he murmured, his voice cracking and using as much willpower as he had, he managed to stop the flowing tears.

He carried her to the bathroom where he gently removed her shirt and pants before taking a towel, wetting it with warm water and gently wiping and dabbing the blood off of her backside. He was very gentle, as if she were made of glass while he cleaned her. He also gently turned her over, wiped the blood off of her chest, very gently and carefully, because even if she was dead and there was no one around, he didn’t want to be crass and seem to grope her breast. 

He took a moment to take a finger and gently trace around the edge of the spear wound. It caused him anguish to think about but the spearman was kind enough to stab her heart, making her death quick and with little pain. 

He felt wracked by guilt because he knew he could have beaten the lancer if he hadn’t been fighting like a proper duel, but he wasn’t expecting the master to use a command spell to send lancer to where his lady and the berserker was. His heart felt like ice and his blood felt cold as he thought about the moments when he realized what was happening and that his lady was trapped with both of the enemy servants. He remembered the absolute feeling of desperation as he sprinted through the trees, slashing anything in his way with Galantine.

His lady’s body has been cleaned and he left her for a moment to prepare for her a place to rest. He went to her room, picking up a loose, off white dress and he laid his cloak out on the bed. He returned to the bathroom, gently, tenderly and carefully slipped the dress on her before he scooped back up and carried her back to her room. 

He gently placed her on the cloak and gently wrapped it around her, the movement of him wrapping her made her head gently roll to the side, her face brushing the fur around the collar. Gawain felt his heart jump and nearly started to cry again, knowing that the life wasn’t in her but her face in the collar reminded him of the first night they were together. 

His heart was anguished, thinking about that night, the glow of fireflies, the sky full of stars, the way the sunset fell on her face and hair. He gently held a hand to his cheek, thinking about her kissing it on the first night. He felt regret again, knowing at after she kissed his cheek that he should have escorted her to the house. He hadn’t escorted her because if he did, she would have seen his cheeks blushing so he just had sat, staring at the stars and thinking about her lips on his cheek.

“I know how much you love my cloak, so hold onto it for now, okay my lady?” His voice was soft and a bit pained.

He could have stayed by her bedside for hours, watching her, like how he had watched her sleeping in his cloak before. He hadn’t watched her for the entire nights however, for the second night he had watched her so affectionately for only a short while before starting the bread for her to eat when she awoke.

Thinking of that, he stroked her cheek, kissed her forehead and went to clean up the kitchen which had been made a mess by the servants when they attacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to keep farming in FGO but I felt bad leaving the fic at the end of act 1 like that.


	6. The Cleanup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda a longer chapter and not as much fluff but we do get some action

He started by picking up the knife that was laying in the blood, he knew that she must have tried to defend herself with it, even though it ultimately wasn’t able to help. With a heavy heart, he regretted not teaching her how to fight in the days that they were together. He brushed off that thought though because he didn’t regret any of the time he spent with his lady and he wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world.

Gawain found a bucket in which he poured hot water and soap and took a towel and set to work cleaning up his lady’s blood. It only took one refreshing of the towel for the water to turn a deep red. He was that the blood came off quite easily and it only took him a few minutes to get a majority of it off the floor. 

Once he was satisfied with scrubbing the floor, he moved to the items that were flung across the room on the floor. He picked up the lilies and vase that had been thrown across the room and filled the vase with water before returning the flowers back to their display. He paused to tenderly stroke the petals of the flower that was stained with specks of red. He picked it up and held it by his face, knowing that this was the flower his lady had held gently when she perished. He let out a deep breath before returning the flower to the vase with its unstained brethren.

The wall by the table had a clean line that broke the drywall that was from the spear. He frowned and ran a finger along it. He didn’t have the time or honestly knowledge of building to be able to fix that or the broken door and its frame. 

After he picked up everything, organizing what he could before his attention fell to her garden. While walking to the garden he heard a crunch as he stepped on one of the apples that his lady had grown and that he had picked. He picked up three of the apples that he had dropped before everything went downhill. He rubbed one of them on his shirt to clean off any dirt and began to eat it. The apples tasted ghastly but they contained good mana and while the command seals assured he had enough mana to complete his objectives, extra mana wouldn’t hurt. 

The apples reminded him of relaxing under the tree with his lady, the light dappled her face, hair and body with soft speckles of light through the tree’s leaves. She had looked so beautiful and relaxed. He wished that he would have kissed her under that tree. Instead, like an idiot he accidentally hit her in the head with an apple. But the apple did give him a reason to hold her lovely face in his hands and her eyes when she opened them, gazing at him, so full of life and joy. He remembered the warm feeling he experienced when he saw her, gazing into his eyes, a smile on her lips and how he couldn’t help but smile at her. 

He felt relieved to see that the garden was largely unfazed by the prior days’ events and seeing the garden relieved his weary heart. If the garden had been destroyed by them as well, his spirit may have wavered for a while. Gawain knew that the garden was important to his lady and he set to work tending the garden. 

While watering the plants, he couldn’t help but glance to the berries, the place where his lady had been when he saw her when they had gardened together the other day.

After he finished watering he knelt down in the spot where his master had fallen asleep on his back. He shifted to a sitting position, leaned back and while enjoying the warmth of the sun, he closed his eyes and imagined his lady sleeping on his lap. The time that they spent together in the garden he cherished in his heart and mind. He felt warm from the sun and remembering the feeling when he was tending to the lilies and his lady leaning against him. HIs lady had become so comfortable and at ease with him, when she was leaning against him, she had fallen asleep. He could remember his surprise and worry when he felt her falling and his relief when he caught her safely. His chest warmed at the memory of when he carried her to the place in the garden where she rested on his lap, his sleepy lady had nuzzled into his warm chest and how he couldn’t help but hold her for a few minutes before he had set her down with her head resting in his lap.

A gun clicked and he opened his eyes.

“Not here,” the knight said. “We will fight but not here. I won’t have you destroying my master’s garden.”

“Fine by me,” the berserker lowered her gun. “I’ll still kill you but if you don't want us to fight here, so be it.”

“I am grateful for your understanding,” The knight rose to his feet. 

The berserker stepped forward, tenderly stroked one of the lilies.

“These are beautiful,” she said. “May I pick one?” 

“No,” said the knight. He picked two of the loveliest of the lilies himself before equipping his armor. “However, if I defeat you, I will give you one. Should you kill me, you can pick one yourself. Come, there is an empty field nearby that will suit the needs for our battle,” Gawain said. 

He offered her an arm to escort her there but she declined. The knights blood was boiling with hatred but he maintained his noble behavior. 

“Very well, I shall lead the way then,” he said, anger sparking a copper taste in his mouth. He started on the way to the field. The berserker followed him as a slightly slower pace.

“Your master,” she said while they were walking. “Did you know she was ill when you made the contract?”

“No,” replied the knight honestly. 

“I assume you knew about her condition in time though, correct?” 

“Yes, she told me about her condition the morning after the summoning.” The knight slowed his pace a little so they could talk without having to strain their voices.

“And even with knowing that your master was terminally ill and that your mana drain from fighting could kill her, you still agreed to the contract?” The berserker’s red eyes were fixated on him and the knight stopped where he was. The servants were far enough that they could fight and the garden and house wouldn’t be affected. 

“Yes I did,” Gawain’s eyes narrowed. His anger was making his temper short and the berserker was being rude and nosy. 

The berserker stopped as well, she seemed to be analyzing his reaction. “Why would you stay with a master that was certain to die during this war?” 

Holding the flowers in his left hand, his sword appeared in his right, dominant hand. Her gun appeared in her left hand and a surgical scalpel appeared in her right. Both of the servants lunged at each other at the same time, The berserker struggled at holding back the sword with her gun, straining against the strength of the enraged knight.

“I stayed because even though she knew she would die, even though she was scared, she was willing to fight, so she would be the last person to have to suffer from illnesses like this.” The knight could feel his blood boiling, growing ever hotter under the sun. Talking about his master set him ablaze, anger towards those who killed her. The fire in his blood spread to his muscles, increasing his strength even more. 

With a loud grunt, the berserker slashed at him with the scalpel and shoved his sword away with the gun hand, both servants jumping back a few meters. The scalpel had hardly done anything but it was just a distraction so she could shove away. 

“Your master wished to eradicate all disease?” The berserker dropped her scalpel and cocked her gun. “That sounds nice but unfortunately my master will hold the grail.”

The berserker unloaded her gun at the saber who ran in an arc around her, using the sword to block some of the bullets. A few dinged off his armor and one grazed his thigh, drawing some blood, but the saber ignored it. The berserker reloaded, dodging the swipes the saber took at her. 

“What is your master’s wish?” Gawain’s voice came out as more of a yell than anything else.

“She wants the glory of victory for her family,” the berserker raised her gun again yet found herself having to block the sabers leaping down slash. The two servants were face to face, the berserker’s cool red eyes matched the sabers piercing blue glare, his face twisted in anger.

“Sacred sword, unsheath,” Gawain snarled, his blade growing hot and setting a light. The berserker’s eyes opened in surprise, the flames scorching her face. 

With a yell, Gawain thrust his sword down, cutting clean through the berserker’s gun, igniting the gunpowder and causing a small explosion that forced the two servants apart. The slice that destroyed the gun had also cut through her, giving her a large, burning cut down her chest. 

“I’m,” the berserker seemed disoriented from the blast. “I’m sorry. I wanted, to heal your master. I couldn’t bring myself to kill her. It’s why they needed the lancer to finish the job.”

The berserker summoned three more scalpels, facing the saber and she sighed. She then straightened her posture, the saber taking it as an invitation, he rushed forwards. Within a flash of silver it was all over. 

His sword ran clean through her spirit core, still ablaze. She had thrown all 3 scalpels at the same time, one had bounced off his armor, one had grazed his neck and the other grazed his cheek. They stung, but the fire in his heart and blood was hotter than the sting of the wounds. 

The berserker coughed some blood and the knight gently laid her on the grass, warm from the heat of the sword and the heat radiating off the knight.

“I am grateful for the compassion you showed my master, so I ended it quickly,” said the knight. He took one of the lilies still clutched in his left hand and gently placed it on her chest. “Here is your flower, as I promised.”

The berserker gently picked up the flower, spinning the flower between her thumb and middle finger. “For respect of your masters wish, I will tell you, where the lancer is and I will tell you, that he is the last servant left you have to defeat. Your summons was late in the war,” the berserker rasped. 

After hearing what the berserker had to say, he turned and left her, letting her vanish into gold dust, until the flower fell onto the grass and lay there alone.


	7. The Loneliness

Gawain gently stroked his lady’s cheek with the back of his knuckles, gazing tenderly at her still face. He let out a deep sigh, wishing with all his heart for her to open her eyes and gaze at him with those gentle and adoring eyes. 

“I brought you a flower, m’lady,” he said, gently tucking the flower behind her ear. “I’m sorry if it was a bit crushed or dried. It was in my hand when I fought the berserker, but I learned where the masters and the lancer are. The lancer is the last servant I have to defeat before I can get the grail.”

The saber’s heart felt cold, a hard contrast to the flames it pumped less than an hour ago as he took down one of his lady’s murderers. Seeing her like this was so melancholy to the saber’s heart. She looked like she was just sleeping, like she could open her eyes at any time, like she could gaze at him with that tender gaze that set his heart ablaze and warmed his soul. He let out a deep sigh and gave her cheek one last gentle caress before starting to walk to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to give her one last look before continuing on.

Gawain stood in the kitchen, zoning out while watching the water boil, softening the potatoes he was going to turn into mashed potatoes. He snapped back into focus and decided to pass the time by making more of his honeyed bread that he made for his lady before. 

After his meal was prepared he sat and ate by himself, the potatoes now tasting bland to him. He remembered that his lady had spread some of the potatoes on the bread, her leaning over the table and feeding him some of the bread. He remembered that he got a bit of potato on his lip to brush it off while looking into his lady’s eyes and her becoming flustered and having to look away.

Her voice, playful and light echoed in his head, “Do you want me to keep feeding you?”

It made him smile, thinking about her smiling at him and feeding him and her concern about him eating. She had been struggling with her illness but she cared and worried about him.

He had felt guilty for a while because he was her servant, her familiar and her knight yet he was drawn to her as more than his master and his new king. He smiled, knowing she would tell him ‘Don’t call me king!’ 

His heart had drawn him to her and as he noticed that she was drawn to him as well, it eased his guilt and had filled his heart with warmth. 

His mind was filled with memories of her, her warm and gentle touch, her hands on his face in the garden after they collided heads and her hands around his with her concern about the hot pan, her gently and playfully punching his chest and her hand resting on it while they watched the sunset. 

He let out a deep breath, thinking about the sunset watching with her. The first night had been so absolutely perfect, the beautiful sunset, his beautiful companion, the fireflies and the stars, his lady draped in his cloak and the kiss she planted on his cheek.

The second night had been lovely but in different ways. The way his lady has wrapped the cloak around his shoulders, her arm around his neck and her head on his shoulders. Gawain could have stayed like that forever. Then the two of them drinking fruit wines, his lady being so excitable and close to him, the cold night air had driven them close for warmth and he was able to wrap one of his arms around her. 

Her eyes had sparkled with curiosity and the bravery that came with alcohol. They had been so close that he was able to smell the fruity wine on her breath as she asked about him. She had wanted tales about his life, tales of his achievements and victories, yet he had refused her them.

His mouth was filled with potatoes that tasted like nothing and his throat felt stiff. 

His heart sank a bit, remembering that he wouldn’t tell her about his tales, yet so many of them involved him being with other women and even though that was a lifetime ago, he would have felt a bit guilty about talking about other women and his past lovers with her. He had told himself that it would have hurt her emotionally, but it was more that really. 

“Sir Yvain isn’t my servant. I don’t care about him. I want to know about you,” Her words echoed in his head. She had been wrapped under his arm, her eyes gazing at him and it had been his eyes that averted that time. 

He swallowed the potatoes with some difficulty and found himself unable to finish the plate and put the leftovers in the fridge. He washed the dishes, remembering the first day when his lady had wanted to help him wash dishes, but she fell, grabbing onto him and her then gently nodding off. He would have liked to have kissed her forehead while she rested but he had dared not disturb her.

The sun had begun to set and so Gawain went to go and watch it set. With his whole heart he wished that his lady would come up behind him and wrap his cloak around his shoulders like she had before. 

The dusk air was warmer than it had been on their second night and when the sun had almost sunk out of sight, the fireflies had started glowing in the grass and taking flight. Gawain laid back, one arm behind his head and one resting on his chest, feeling his heart beating in his breast. He gazed at the dark purple sky, thinking about his lady. 

He let out a deep sigh, thinking about their second night, her joyful and carefree laughter and her bravery breaking as she was comfortable enough around him to be vulnerable. He remembered feeling his heart break as she began sobbing and affection as he was able to comfort her, her body so fragile and gentle in his arms as he was able to wrap his arms around her and pull her onto his chest as she wept. He remembered kissing her forehead and feeling tender as her sobs stopped and she fell asleep, cuddled into his chest while he held her. He had kissed her forehead again after he had tucked her into bed. 

He lay, watching the deep purple sky turn black and he thought of his lady’s kisses. Her lips were so soft and gentle when they had kissed his cheek on the first night, she had kissed his forehead when they collided heads in the garden and then the kiss in the forest. 

He closed his eyes, thinking about his lady’s lips on his, her arms around his neck and one of her hands in his hair, pushing his lips more passionately into hers. His heart felt a bit heavy, thinking about how when he had kissed her hand that he wished he had kissed her lips instead.

He opened his eyes, knowing tomorrow he would face the lancer, and knowing he would get his wish, he had been told by his lady to find a wish in heart and it had been in his mind for a while but he knew for certain what his wish was now. But right now it was time for him to rest and prepare himself for what would need to be done. 

Tomorrow he would end this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm LOVING act 2 because we get to see that the pining is really mutual (also the hand kissing paragraph i REALLY love)


	8. The Blaze

He wasn’t sure about where to rest for the night, he wouldn’t dare lay by his lady, her bed big enough for both of them, yet it just didn’t feel right so he instead opted to take one of the several pillows from her bed, careful as to not to disturb her and lay on her couch. The pillow smelled like his lady’s hair, a light lavender aroma with another sweet smell he couldn’t quite place. It was comforting and as he lay there, pretending the pillow was his lady’s soft body and trying to identify the scent when he dozed off. 

He rose with the sun, feeling rested. He returned the pillow to his lady’s bed and exchanged the lily he had tucked behind her ear for a fresh one. He then left her, vowing to return.

He walked outside to find his steed, well, his lady’s steed that he would be borrowing. He could not find the horse in the garden or near the house or near the magic workshop so he walked around to find her. 

After about 15 minutes, he found her, grazing under the apple tree. He felt a hot wave of guilt when he saw that the tree was unfortunate enough to have been in his way when he was trying to get to his lady. The tree had a large slash and scorch mark on the trunk from Galatine and he gently ran a hand down the trunk.

“I hope you and our lady will be able to forgive me when this is all over,” he murmured. He then proceeded to collect two of the apples, eating one while walking up to the horse. 

The horse was grazing, her bridle was still on and Gawain patted her neck. The braids he put in had all become undone in their forced escape, except for one. Gawain felt a tender warmth blossom in his breast when he saw it and gently plucked the lily out of the remaining braid, the braid becoming undone at the flower’s removal. 

“I understand,” he smiled gently at the flower before gazing up at the sky. “Thank you for giving me your blessing on this quest of mine m’lady. I am certain to be victorious now.”

“Come now, let us get our master back,” he said, braiding the lily back into the horse’s mane. 

He mounted the horse with ease and spurred her on, heading in the direction of the nearby town where the berserker had said the other masters were located. 

He had been surprised that the berserker would sell out the other masters but before she died, she told him that the other two masters had selfish wishes and ridding the world of fatal diseases was something that she agreed with. She had told him her true name, Florence Nightingale, the mother of modern nursing, so she greatly respected his master and her wish, while Florence’s own master was only in the war for glory and pride. 

‘My lady is truly noble, to be able to move the nurse to give her master up. M’lady’s wish is truly beautiful for her to be able to make the berserker root for our victory,’ the knight thought as he traveled to the town. 

Within an hour he arrived to the town. It was relatively small, about 4,000 residents. About a quarter of a mile from the town, he dismounted from the horse and left her grazing near an old farm. He patted her neck and removed the lily from her mane, causing the braid to become undone. The horse let out a snort as he walked away. 

The walk was starting to get him worked up, the rising sun warming him and the adrenaline of knowing he was to face the servant who killed his lady and the master that gave the order. 

The berserker had given him the address and description of the house that the masters were borrowing. Once into the town he found it quite easily. He wished that he could take time and explore the town. He could find locations that his lady would enjoy and that he could take her there. 

He was there on a mission, to kill. He knew that it was against grail regulations to fight where civilians can see and if civilians see that they would need to be killed. He would have to tread carefully because it isn’t chivalrous to kill innocent people. 

He could demand that the lancer face him outside the town where they wouldn’t be seen. However, if the lancer and his master refused, he would have no choice but to fight in the town. He prayed that it wouldn’t come to that.

He could sense that both masters were in the house and that there was a bounded field around the house so going in himself would be impossible and there were surely defenses in place. He knew that they would be able to sense his mana and know he was there, yet they didn’t seem to react. 

At the edge of the bounded field, he walked through the alley next to the house. He couldn’t get in so he would make them come out but he first needed to see if they would have an escape in the back of the house before he would do anything.

There was a back door and an outdoor hatch to what seemed to have been a storm cellar. 

He knew that the safest way to do this would be quickly setting fire to the front of the house so they would flee through the back where he could fight without being seen.

He returned to the front of the house, standing before the wooden building that probably used to have a nice family living there before the mages did who knows what to them. He summoned his reliable holy sword, the blade glinting in the noon sun. His mind was clear and focused, not letting his boiling blood and anger take control. He only had one shot at this and he could not mess this up and fail. 

“Sacred sword, unlock,” he said, causing the blade to erupt into flames. A fast slash, seemingly in empty air from outside the bounded field and his sword he sent back away before anyone would see. While the slash was a few meters from the house, the noonday sun’s power and the fire coursing through the knight’s blood seemed to have added to the blade’s fire and where the slash happened dancing flames appeared, licking at the woodwork, starting to spread.

The fire was lit and now it was time to get in position. He quickly traversed back into the alley to the back of the house.He jumped the flimsy metal fence around the poorly tended back yard.

He stood in the backyard at the edge of the bounded field, re summoning Galatine, feeling like there was fire flowing through his veins. It was now or never, before they would do something, but they likely had assumed he wouldn’t attack during the day or in the town. But that would be their undoing. He would have preferred fighting an honest duel but an honest duel wasn’t in his heart, not for them. 

His lady had commanded him to defeat them and get the grail and find a wish in his heart. He had his wish and now he had to defeat them. He wanted to do this quickly because he wanted, no, NEEDED to see her again, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her lips, her voice, he needed her back. He took a deep breath, and exhaled it, working on clearing his mind so he could focus on the task on hand.

“Sacred sword, unsheath,” he would normally yell that, however, he was trying to not draw attention to himself. Galatine did not burst into flames, for he didn’t need the flames yet. 

A middle aged woman ran out of the back of the house, she had been bererker’s master and as such, to pay back Florence for her service, he had vowed to make her master’s death quick. 

He kept his vow and she had been afraid about the fire and ran right into him, and he ran her clean through with Galatine. 

“I am sorry,” the knight said. “I don’t like hurting women, but I have no choice.”

Blood spurted from her mouth for a second and she gazed at him, surprise and shock rendering her unable to say anything. He had run her clean through the heart so she then died and he removed Galatine and placed her on the grass. He tucked the last lily into her breast pocket as a way to show his respect.

Having seen her cough blood and the way she looked at him, made him wonder if that’s how his master had looked at the lancer when she was stabbed. He was filled with a cold ripple but that changed to even more fire in his heart and blood. 

He had almost forgotten about lancer’s master who hadn’t appeared yet, but as he was thinking that, lancer’s master, a young man with short black hair jumped out of the second story window. Gawain knew that he wasn’t stupid enough to kill himself and rightfully so, as before he hit the ground, his invisible servant caught him and carried him away in large bounds like a deer or rabbit on building rooftops. 

Gawain knew that they were headed to a safe house outside of the city, helpful information from the berserker and he knew that was where they would clash. 

He sent away Galatine and picked up berserker’s master before throwing her into the house that was now engulfed by the flames. He then leaped the fence again and walked away, careful to not draw attention to himself. 

Fire engines went wailing past him but he knew that the house was beyond saving and that they would not find any survivors. But that was out of his hands and not his business anymore. He had a score to settle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, holidays really drained my motivation! sorry about that! i plan to get the next chapter out soon! getting about time to wrap this up! 
> 
> hope you guys had good holidays!


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